


my mind's beat up, tell me that you feel this and i won't give up.

by freeatlast



Category: One Direction
Genre: Friends to Lovers, High School AU, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-05
Updated: 2014-07-05
Packaged: 2018-02-07 08:41:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1892541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/freeatlast/pseuds/freeatlast
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis and Harry have been best friends for about forever and it takes some time for both of them to notice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	my mind's beat up, tell me that you feel this and i won't give up.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [louscruffle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/louscruffle/gifts).



> This work is for the H/L summer fic exchange thing and I really enjoyed the promts my exchangee gave me:) I hope you enjoy reading! 
> 
> The title is from the song wild heart by the vamps (which I am sure everyone already knows :D)

"Good morning, guys," Harry mumbles tiredly while stumbling to the table where his friends are sat at.

"Hiya, H," Niall mumbles while picking at his food that probably isn’t actually edible. It is school food and nobody died from it yet so Niall eats it anyways. "Did ya hear about the new students in our year? They moved here all the way from America I think." 

"Yeah I heard about that, I am pretty curious about them. I caught their names at some point, can’t recall them though. Something like Zack and Liam I think," Louis answered and Harry couldn't stop watching his lips moving softly as he spoke, thin and pink and so, so soft. He shakes his head and the thoughts out of his mind.

Harry and Louis have been best friends for about 14 years, when they both were 3 and met through kindergarten. They were basically inseparable ever since and they completed each other perfectly. Harry was the small, silent kid in the back of class while Louis was the class-clown, the social-butterfly who made friends easily. Harry was the nice, polite kid who stayed out of trouble while Louis was the one who constantly got the two of them into it. It goes on like this. Harry is and was everything Louis isn’t or wasn’t and the other way around. They fit together like puzzle pieces.

But in the last few months, the feelings Harry has when he talks to Louis have been different and he is scared, terrified even, that their relationship is going to change for the worse. Somewhere in the back of his mind, the thought about their relationship changing for the better, turning into more and more, pops up, but he decides that he needs to ignore it because he does not want to be the reason for a change. He never did.

The group kept on talking while having their lunch and when the bell rang telling them to get back to class, Niall and Louis walk to math’s together while Harry has English Lit in another complex of the school.

\--

Louis sat down at his regular table in the middle of the classroom with an empty chair beside him. It’s not normal for him to have an empty seat next to him, but the guy who sat there before was suspended from school because of drug abuse and trade or something like that, so he still sits in the same place just without someone entertaining him throughout the most boring period of the day.

The teacher, Mr. Franklin, walks into the classroom with two pretty decent looking guys about their age.

"Good afternoon everybody, I have two new students here with me today." He looks at the two boys and continues, "Would you two please introduce yourselves?" 

The black haired guy, with a more than perfect quiff and big hazel eyes, starts. "Hi, I’m Zayn Malik. I am seventeen and I moved here about three weeks ago from Chicago with my best friend Liam." He looked up at the other boy through his lashes shyly, silently asking him to go on.

This Zayn guy must be shy, Louis thought as the dog eyed, chestnut haired boy took over and started to tell his new classmates about himself.

"I’m Liam Payne, 17 as well and I’ve known Zayn since kindergarten so I’m really happy that we are in this situation together. England is very different from our home but we really enjoyed what we have seen so far and hope that you will see us as your new classmates and maybe even friends."

'So Liam is definitely the more talkative, social guy,' Louis keeps thinking to himself.

"Okay, boys, one of you can sit in the back corner there and the other one next to Louis over here." Louis snapped out of his thoughts at the mention of his name.

Zayn strolled over to him slowly and sat down on the outer corner of the table. He’s really shy then. "Mate, you can just scoot closer. I won’t bite." Louis tried to come off as a nice and joking person, not wanting to scare the new guy off, because they both seemed like a good addition to their small group of people.

In the end he got Zayn to talk a few words to him, and Niall, who was sitting next to Liam in class, invited them both to sit with them at lunch the next day.

\--

"Louis, I didn’t quite understand the stuff we talked about in maths today, could you maybe explain that to me?" Zayn asked. He had warmed up really fast and was actually a talkative person, if you got to know him first. Louis liked that. He found it highly interesting and it reminded him of Harry in a way that he doesn’t really understand himself.

"Sure, I can’t see why not." What Louis also didn’t see was the sad, kind of jealous look, his best friend showed when he turned around to show Zayn the math exercises.

"Harry?" Niall snapped the daydreaming Harry back to reality.

"Oh, oh, erm- What?" Harry asked.

"Nothing, you just looked like you were going to rip Lou out of the hands of Zayn just because they were talking." Niall said casually making Harry look like he was about to fall off his chair, his face so red in the loud and laughter filled cafeteria of their high school.

"What are you talking about?" Harry mumbled quietly to Niall while Louis was distracted.

"Nothing, you are just not very subtle, man. Everyone can see that you’d like to have him as more than just friends." Niall continued to sound casual.

"NO!" Harry snapped. He couldn’t like his best friend, could he? No, he would have noticed that earlier, and even if he did, he wouldn’t let it show like this. He was just watching out for Louis since he didn’t know anything about the new boy yet and he does not want his Louis hurt. Not his Louis. 

His best friend Louis is what he meant, of course. Weird thoughts he had going on in his mind.

\--

A very similar incident happened just about two hours later when they were walking out of the school building and Zayn and Louis were walking next to each other, talking excitedly with Zayn’s hand on the shorter boy's shoulder. Harry thought it was just a little bit too much affection for not even two whole days of knowing each other.

It all cleared up and the skies were perfectly blue again when Liam came out of a classroom next to them, running to Zayn, hugging him, and giving him a big smooch on the lips.

Harry just had to ask, "Are you guys together?"

"Going strong for about two years now," Liam answered while looking in Zayn’s eyes fondly.

And suddenly, Harry really felt jealous again. Not because Zayn ‘flirted’ with Louis anymore, but because of the relationship that he didn’t have. He thought about someone loving him, just the way he was, without them wanting to change anything about him. Harry realized that he never really had that in an exclusive way but still kind of did. With Louis. 

Was he really in love with him, or at least liked him, the way that Niall and the others said? No that couldn't be true, could it? He really began to question his feelings for his best friend.

\--

Harry spent the majority of his Saturday getting ready for a party that Niall was going to throw. He knew that it was going to be one of those parties where he sat on the couch next to some couple making out, without too much to drink and the voluntary job of looking after his friends so they wouldn’t embarrass themselves too badly. He threw on a good outfit, shook his hair out and brushed his teeth.

The party was loud and booming when Harry walked into the living room of Niall's home. They celebrated his return from Ireland, which was really about a month ago but Niall liked a good party, so why not just throw one now? The lights were on and there was some remix playing, people dancing in the middle of the room with big red cups in their hands.

Harry felt a little bit out of place because he was definitely not the biggest party animal and he felt like it always was a little bit too stuffed and loud. He strolled into the kitchen to get himself something to drink and a break from the current people around. Niall greeted him with a nod as well as some other people that Harry didn’t have much to do with, but they were friends of Niall, so he did recognize their faces and some of the names. He went back into the living room and sat down on the couch he sat on so many times before. Not only at parties of course, but also at the various video game nights he spent with Louis and Niall before. He sat there alone, as predicted, for a while just sipping on his drink.

Louis disappeared as soon as they got there, greeting everyone, hugging and kissing cheeks in a friendly manner. Harry still wasn’t as much of a social butterfly but it was alright, there were enough people he knew from school. So he talked to some of them and the night passed slowly for him without talking to Louis at all. With the drinks, he had more than the usual number of them that night,Harry was realizing that he was, in fact, in love with his best friend and there probably wasn't anything he could do about it to make it stop.

It got later and later into the night and he began to look for the mentioned best friend but also deep, deep crush of his, because they agreed that they would walk home together and Harry really didn’t want to walk home alone.

He went to look for Louis in the kitchen, just to see him standing there with his arms wrapped around another boys neck. The other boy was tall with curly hair and a lean figure. Louis was clearly wasted and out of his mind. By this point they were snogging noisily and Harry felt the urge to throw up. When they broke apart, Louis opened his mouth and said, "Home now, Haz?" and the other boy just nodded, leading him out the kitchen and out of the front door. Harry felt like crying now. He ran out of Niall's house and all the way to his home as fast as he could.

When he entered his flat, he sat down on the couch and called Nick who lived about 5 minutes away and was always there for Harry when he needed him. And now he did. He really needed someone.

Nick was as nice as always and when he reached his place, he choked out a sob and fell into his arms.

"Oh Harry, Darling. Come inside." Nick sat Harry down on the couch and asked him if he needed anything. All Harry did need was a cuddle and a shoulder to cry on. He told Nick that he fell in love with Louis and to Harry's surprise, Nick wasn’t shocked at all. "I know, babe," he said, "but you know that that’s not a problem, right? He loves you just as much." Nick tried to comfort him.

The tears started falling freely out of Harry's eyes again. Nick gave Harry another big hug and Harry started telling him about the party and about the guy Louis went home with. When he was finished, Nick told him that he shouldn’t worry too much about it and that everything is going to fall into its right place really soon. He had a feeling that it would at least get a little bit better. Nick brought Harry to bed and the last thing Harry felt before he slipped into a dreamless sleep was a soft, tender kiss on his forehead. It made Harry wonder why he couldn’t have just fallen in love with Nick because everything would have been easier.

Nick puts some painkillers and a cup of water on the nightstand and slipped out of the room quietly before Harry was out cold.

\--

When Louis woke up, he didn’t know where he was. The sheets didn’t seem familiar and the smell didn’t either. But the person that slept next to him kind of looked like Harry. All he saw was a mop of dark brown hair though. The sleeping body wriggled around so that he was facing Louis again and he was shocked. That was Jake from his art class. Did he really sleep with the biggest douchebag in his grade? It looked like it. 

Louis screwed up big time.

He slipped out of the bed, putting on his clothes with his head hurting like a bitch. When he walked out of the front door, he took a deep breath and stood there for a few seconds before walking in the directions of his place.

The walk took him about 10 minutes seeing that Jake lived in the neighborhood. He stood in the driveway, fumbling with his keys and feeling worse than ever. Last night was pretty weird. 

When Harry and Louis were walking together to Niall's flat, Louis felt a fluttering in his stomach. That wasn’t the first time he felt that while being around his best friend but he always tried to hide it as well as he possibly could and didn’t allowed himself to feel that way about another guy, especially someone so important to him. But last night it was so much stronger and he remembered that when Jake came up to him, he thought it was Harry standing there in front of him. He kissed Jake and went home with him and now he knows that it was a big mistake he made.

But he also does wonder what would have happened if it was actually Harry he was standing in Niall's kitchen with. Would he have kissed back? Louis felt ready to at least admit to himself that he was in love with the curly haired, green eyed boy he was able to call his best friend since forever. But he definitely wasn’t sure if the mentioned boy was feeling the same way about him, and that was what scared him the most.

He went inside and plopped down on the couch, curling up into a ball and cried himself back to sleep.

\--

Louis tried calling Harry first thing when he woke up to ask him if he was okay and how he got home last night, but no one picked up. He called Niall and asked if Harry was there and maybe stayed the night, but Niall told him that no, Harry didn’t stay after the party and that he just guessed that they went home together as planned and they left around the same time. Louis asked Niall if he could come over anyways because Niall seemed to be the right person to talk to right now. Niall agreed and about half an hour later, Louis found himself on the familiar couch in the living room he spent way too much time on getting drunk, high, or both.  
He told Niall the whole story from beginning, all the way to the end. He even told him that he was most probably gay and definitely in love with Harry. The Irishman next to him wasn’t even able to try and act surprised about it and he couldn’t have been more grateful about this whole situation. He gave Louis a big hug and told him that everything was going to be okay. He was now also worried about Harry because no one really knew where he was, but it was going to be okay. Harry wasn’t that drunk yesterday. He turned on his Playstation and forced Louis to play some Fifa with him because if Niall had to listen to Louis’ sob story, then he would have to entertain him as a reward. Louis chuckled, but he knew that it was really just to keep him distracted and he couldn’t deny that he needed just that. About 2 hours into the game, Niall got a call.

"Oh- oh, hey Nick." Niall got up and left the room. Louis couldn’t help but follow him and eavesdrop in on the conversation.

"So Harry is okay?"

"Yes, yes he is. Physically at least." Nick always talked really loud when he was on the phone.

"What do you mean physically?" Niall whisper-shouted.

"As soon as he got here, he started bawling his eyes out, saying something about Louis cheating on him. I asked him if they were together but he denied that. I couldn’t really calm him down." A tear fell down Louis' cheek as he heard that. Did that mean that Harry loved him as well? But maybe he screwed up too badly. Maybe Harry wouldn’t want him anymore.

"Oh, that’s hard mate. Should we do something?" Niall asked Nick.

"Maybe, but Harry is really scared. I don’t know if he is ready to face Louis yet."

Louis went back to the couch and cried in his hands silently. Niall came into the room a few minutes later seeing him that way.

"Oh, Louis."

He helped Louis get up from the sofa and told him that they were going out. Louis asked him where to and Niall just said, "Harry stayed at Nick’s last night and he isn’t feeling well so it might be better if someone picked him up and I think you might want to talk to him about what happened, no?"

"Niall, I don’t think I am ready to see him just yet. Please don’t make me, what I did was bad enough, I don’t know how to fix this just yet," Louis begged.

"Oh, but I am making you. Louis, it’s Sunday, you will see him tomorrow in school, anyways."

He pulled Louis into his car by his arm. And to say that Louis was scared would have been an understatement. He was terrified.

\--

Niall pulled him out of the car when they reached Nick’s house. Louis tried pulling back to hide in the car but there was no use. The whole car ride through, he kept begging Niall to not make him do this and to let him go home, saying he'd just talk to Harry in school, but Niall stayed strong and even resisted the puppy eyes Louis threw him that normally always worked.

Niall rang the bell when they reached the door, holding Louis with the other hand. They waited like that for a while until Nick opened up with a similar grip on Harry’s arm. Louis looked up to see Harry, looking straight into his eyes.

Nick and Niall loosened their grips and quietly sneaked away. The two boys were either too occupied with each other or just couldn’t find it in them to react because they both knew that if they weren’t going to talk about this now, then they never will and it’s always better to talk things out alone.

"H, I’m so sorry," Louis broke down sobbing.

"You didn’t do anything wrong, Lou." Harry was crying as well.

"Oh, but I did. I realized that I love you just yesterday but I know that I was in love with you for a much longer time. And I got so drunk yesterday at the party because I just wanted to drown out my feelings. When Jake came up to me, I genuinely thought it was you and I was brave enough to kiss you but I kissed him. And when I woke up today I knew that I made the biggest mistake I could ever make."

Louis just sobbed even harder and Harry walked up to him, hugging him tightly while crying in his shoulder.

"Louis, I love you too! I also have for a long time and when I saw you with Jake last night, I thought you wouldn’t love me back and then you called him Harry and I had hope again, kind of. But I also couldn’t bring myself to interfere and to tell you two to stop. I don’t even know why. And maybe what you did was wrong but I also could have protected you from it and I didn’t so I’m sorry as well."

Louis lifted his head to look at the taller boy who was already looking back at him with red rimmed eyes but a large smile and a low chuckle at the irony of it all. Why didn’t they make this confession earlier? Why aren’t they kissing each other yet? The smaller boy of the two lifted his arms, wrapping his hands around his best friend’s neck and lifting himself up to his tip toes. Their lips pressed together in a sweet peck. Neither of them knew what to do and were unsure of the next step but Louis took lead and began to slowly move his lips against soft and tender pink ones. They both felt more than they could have ever hoped for. It was more than the fireworks they talk about in the movies and it was more than ‘just’ sparks that flew and it was mostly just teeth and tongue when it got to the end. But it was more than that. It was more than butterflies in their stomachs; it was more than fucking airplanes. It was love, true, deep and sincere love they both felt for the person they were facing. So they kissed. They kissed for minutes and what seemed like hours but this wasn’t a kiss anyone would want to disturb. From behind the bushes, Niall and Nick could see the whole situation perfectly, and even though Nick felt a sharp stab of jealousy, he couldn’t help but match the smile that Niall also had on his face because he knew that Harry would never be as happy with him as he is right now, there in Louis’ arms. They slowly came out from where they were hiding, clapping their hands to show the boys that they were there and to let them know they always have their support.

Niall actually slipped between the still hugging boys. They broke apart when they noticed the presence of their friends, not wanting to be watched the whole time. He wolf whistled and threw his arms around the other boys’ shoulders and said, "If you would have listened to me and my Irish matchmaker qualities, then you would have had this for a much, much longer time. You two don’t have a clue how frustrating it was to see you two looking at each other like the other person is heaven itself without themselves even noticing it. And every time I tried to do something about it, you two would deny everything and try to block all your feelings out. You two better be happy that me and Nick forced you two to talk about this with the other because I can’t see this happening without the help of other people involved."

Harry and Louis still just looked at each other. They were caught up in their little bubble that even Niall’s little speech couldn’t break. But even without listening to a word that Niall said, they both knew very well that they were happy.

They both learned their lesson and when they told the rest of the posse, everyone sighed in relief and laughed at the reaction of the two lovebirds. Everyone was fine with the two of them being in a relationship and they didn’t even get much hate from anyone else in their school. They both came out to their parents and families after about a month, and after weeks of stressing themselves over the conversation that they had to have, everything turned out better than expected. 

And from that point on, Harry and Louis knew that even in the dark and bad times of their young love, they would be there for each other without any kind of doubt.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! <3


End file.
